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The most important conversations we have, is with ourselves

Sometimes, we can let the voice in our head take over our thoughts and lead us down a path of self-esteem destruction. We all have days where that negative voice is a little louder than it should be.

It’s ok, but how do we become more aware – and change that voice to a positive influence?


I believe awareness is the foundation of personal growth. We can do SO much more when we are aware of things. Once we are aware, we then have choices, and can create actionable responses – rather than just subconscious thoughts that can rule our mind.


When we become aware of the thoughts we have; about ourselves, our actions, our parts we wish were different, it can create a cycle of self-sabotage where we start to slow down our internal innate genius, because the self-sabotage has created inner doubt.


When you feel that negative voice, here is a useful tool that could help: Pause, close your eyes and take a big breath. When you take the next breath, count to 4 as you breathe in, then hold for 4, and out for 4. Repeat a few times if needed, until you feel calm.

Now think about what that voice was saying/implying, and ask yourself ‘Is that a reasonable thought, if I were to ask someone, who I trust, if they thought it was a reasonable thought, would they agree?’.


Often, that can give us the answer we need – ‘No, they wouldn’t agree’ so we can consciously make a choice to lean into the discomfort and ignore the negative voice – one step toward more positive self-esteem, and growth.


If asking that question doesn’t give us that answer, we should write it down, sit with it and see why we think or feel that.

The voice can often be referred to as our Ego – its purpose is to protect us. Sometimes we can think a certain way from things that have happened in our past – our Ego wants to protect us from going through any trauma (especially for a second or multiple times) so it can get pretty clever at preventing us from doing things outside our comfort zone, to protect us.


Once you understand how this has an impact on your decisions and subconscious thoughts, you begin to process thoughts and feelings differently and become curious when discomfort comes up – ready to make a choice, to step back, or lean in. Leaning in is where the growth happens, and we create the best versions of ourselves.

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